This is a key fear for all women… keeping love alive within a relationship! We all want the happily-ever-after with love continuing to thrive with each passing month. In our fairy story thoughts our communal allure grows with each minute that we are together but when we look around us we see couples in agony who are bored with one another and whose relationships are either one of barely tolerating one another or of quiet desperation. There is evidence of the same things in your relationship but your instinct tells you that there has to be more for your relationship then this…. so in keeping your love alive what strategies should you implement?
1. Sustain the playful teasing! To keep a man interested obliges you to maintain the fun and joy in your relationship bubbling and is there a better way to do this then to keep the mischievous play going. Our inner child never passes on (it can get quiescent but it’s always there buried under all of lives concerns). What awakens his inner child? What brings the child inside him out? Breathe life into your relationship by bringing this out frequently!
2. Stay engrossed in him! Life has a way of devastating any relationship as each person focuses on their own issues. Keeping love alive obliges you to make a concerted effort to keep interested in what is going on in his life. Not just nominal interest but honest interest. Get to know what is happening in his office, relationships etc. you should be able to talk about everything and anything with each other. But you need wisdom to know when he wants to talk and when he wants to just relax quietly.
3. Honesty is the best policy! Are there things that you are unable to discuss with each other?. To keep a man interested requires that you are honest to one another so that you are both happy with each other since you are not holding grudges or resentfulness toward each another. Deceit is a hindrance to a close relationship. Of course there are things in your past that you may not want to bring up as they will do nothing for your relationship.
4. Make time for each another without fail! Keeping love alive obliges you to set away definite time for each other. Talk to each other each day for at least 30 minutes. Also programme a date night once a week and a weekend away every three months where you spend time with just each other doing something you both enjoy. This is a time for you to focus on just each other and to reconnect to each other expressively.
5. Keep the exciting activities going! Don’t get stuck in the normal routines of life but be open to new experiences that you can both enjoy. Keeping love alive you need to let your your imagination run wild and make happy memories that strengthen the glue that connects you together.
6. Shared admiration! Cultivate a culture of mutual admiration. Withstand the enticement to believe the worst of him as that will eat into your love for him. If he does something that can be explained in two different ways and one way is hurtful and the other is kind, chose the higher way and believe in the best from him and not the nastiest as is the routine. This is hard as it will be like rowing upstream against our tendency to believe the worst but keeping love alive requires shared respect.
7. Battle fairly and in a positive manner! Learn to fight reasonably without taunts or spite. Become skilled at dealing with difficulties as they come and once they have been dealt with successfully you need to never (ever!) bring them up again. Yes….it is soooo tempting to remind him of all his faults but this will do nothing for your love life. Keeping love alive obliges you to have a forgiving heart and a short memory of forgiven wrongs.
8. Be every woman to him! You have to be all the different types of women that he needs. If he needs a “whore” in bed then you have to become that (except if what he wants is uncomfortable to you). You want him happy at home not him speculating if he can get what he needs out there!